No Place for Me

There was no place for me

Amid the clutter

No place I could retreat

There was no nest for me in which 

to feel comfortable and relaxed

Save the couch and then mostly when 

I was with you, Or in your bed where 

we could cuddle and share our thoughts

The kitchen rolls into the living place,

The open space below covered in excess

Items that may never find a use

A couch, a working table, junk all round

The futon for your daughter’s visits

With barely enough space to negotiate

I cannot go to bed so early some nights

My mind bids me think

And it cannot be done either prone or supine

Lest I wander off to sleep

And wake just hours later, or less

Well before the dawn 

whence I must rise to renew my thoughts

and walk through cat litter to the couch

A well worn path

But not a nest

This doesn’t bother you

It barely gets a thought but

To me it was a test 

Of my love for you and my willingness 

to accept you as you are but I would

think at times that when we would 

at last be together, how could we make 

a place for visitors

You will not understand this

And it really doesn’t matter

I accepted you unconditionally for the 

wonder of your mind and the joy of your spirit 

when it was not taken by your demons

and even then

We made light of your Rubenesque form

But truth is, I loved it every inch

For it was you and you were comfortable in it

And it gave me pleasure to feel it in my arms

To share your gifts when were willing, and not too tired

Tho some times we forgot that or set it aside to 

Give each other pleasure and drift off entangled

In peace

I miss you more with each word I write

As the memories rush in

You gave me more joy than I deserve

and much more still lives within